be with me

"Father I desire..."; in this such a profound revealing. A heart so deeply stirred, so passionately moved, so forcefully feeling, and so flustered in a way – a longing expressed, but a longing with no certainty of satisfaction. The prayer of John 17 is one of such intimacy, so vulnerable it sounds almost uncertain. He touches here and there and comes around and back around to such feeling. Such raw intensity. In the end he says it all in this simple phrase. “I desire!” “I yearn for them. I want them with me. I want them with us. I want them there in that place of loveliness and glory that is ours – I want to show them that place. I want them with me!”

 

Companionship. How deeply he felt it. He who was in all essence love, lived all his being for companionship. He was a friend, and how he knew friendship. His days were never alone. He traveled, slept, ate, prayed, sung, relaxed, cajoled, laughed, wept – all in the presence of those he loved. His deepest delight, and deepest pain, was relationship. And for that, he would trade all, he would forsake all, he would abandon all.

 

In the time of Jesus’ ministry, he was years in the constant companionship of his friends. We imagine him most days with his companions. He was in a culture of companionship, and this was a season of constant companionship. How such intimacy warms the heart; how affections grow, edges are worn down, acquaintances become friends, close friends become deep friends. Jesus lived that. He experienced that. He loved that!

 

This was not some theological love of God for subjects. This was a visceral, intense, pervasive feeling of deep affection for his beloved and constant companions. This was a love where nicknames were forged, where meals were shared, where laughter prevailed, where joy permeated. It was love where livelihoods were forsaken, where perfume bottles were broken, where feet were washed, where swords were swung in a passion of devotion, and where tears flowed freely.

 

No wonder then he cries: “I want them there, one with me, as we are one. I desire them so much they would never be more than an inch away, face to face, heart to heart. I desire them to be with Me where I am. To be with me! Our hearts merged as one. I desire!”